Just because their pretty doesn't mean their not tasty.

I had an conversation at work last night about a near and dear topic to me. But before I go into that, let me set it up first.

You ever notice that pretty or attractive people usually have more of an easy life? Or maybe "easy" isn't the right word.....maybe they have more opportunities given to them because people are willing to do more for them. We all know these type of people. They are the ones that are given jobs that are not a proper fit for them. They are the ones who can coast a bit easier through life because people are always willing to either pick up the slack for them or altogether pull all of their weight. They are the ones who are forgiven much easier for their mistakes or transgressions.

They are envied because of their ability to achieve all of this.

Animals aren't much different, either.

Certain animals coast through life much like people. If you're an animal and can look cute, do tricks, or generate pity then you've got it made. We keep you as pets. We put you on TV. We put you in zoos and try to make you procreate. We put you on pedestals.

And that is why we must eat these bastards.

Just like in Revenge of the Nerds when the Jocks got their comeuppance at the hands of Booger and Gilbert, these "beloved" animals needs to get served up with a side of mashed potatoes.

This is where the conversation last night comes into place. A couple of coworkers and I were talking about the merits of a bird feeder. I made the comment that a bird feeder is a renewable source of food. One of my coworkers responded in a traditional level of shock I'm used to: "Wait...are you saying that you would eat birds that go to a bird feeder? That's GROSS!". This was great. This is the equivalent of tossing a lazy softball at me. I was going to hit this out of the park. So I ask the loaded question "So you're saying it's wrong to eat birds?". And what was their response?

"Yeah!".

Heh.

So I took the time to drive home the point that by that logic we should never eat chickens and turkeys. And they argued back that THOSE birds are ok to eat. And my response was an easy one: We only eat those animals because they are ugly as hell. Need proof?

 
You take a quick look at these guys above and then only thing that goes through your head is whether you should either fry or bake them.

Now look at these guys:

We take a look at these guys and let out a big ol' "AWWWWWW!!!!!"

Screw that. Deep fry them and slather them in buffalo sauce.

And it's not just birds that get off easy. Take the common pig and cow. I love bacon and nothing is better then a well cooked steak. But we eat them because they are dumb and ugly. Maybe if they did some tricks we might spare them. Don't believe me?

And the sad thing is that Wilber did jack$h!t! It was a spider doing all of his public relations!

Now I'm not saying that we should all go out and start eating dogs and cats but you have to appreciate the hypocrisy in all of this. And if we were to discover that dogs tasted like fillet mignon? Last chance Saturdays at PetSmart will turn into buffets.

And so we come to one of my great desires: To have an endangered species/protect animal buffet before I pass away.

So as I leave you to ponder what I've wrote, I give you my menu for this fantastic meal:

Roasted Panda

Bald Eagle Wings

Dolphin Sushi Rolls

Stir Fry Zebra

Sounds delicious, doesn't it?

See you all later.