When you get raised by T.V., unfortunately you get me....

If there is one thing that can be said, it's that if you watch enough Television at 3 A.M. you tend to have a distorted view of life. But sometimes that is a good thing.

But first, let me let you know where I'm coming from and where I'm going.

My name is Mike. And a lot of people don't get me at first. But those that do? I like the smiles and laughs I put into their lives. And for that I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have a wife who loves me. Trust me, there are many guys who have wives who don't. I'm lucky to have about 4 good friends. Because most people think they have dozens of friends and actually have none. And I'm lucky that I've made is this far without snapping.

So what the hell does all of this have to do with T.V. at 3 A.M.?

I give you a simple answer: Logan's Run.

I love this movie. It was made the year I was born. And it's something that is so amazingly weird that it's charming.

Imagine a world where you have to die at 30. Why? That was never clearly explained. But when you do die it is in the way I want to die: Catapulted into the air from a spinning carousal while dressed like a Mexican Luchador and wearing a hockey mask while somehow exploding through means unknown.

Toss in high-tech whore distributing mirrors, a space age train set, a naked-people freezing robot, and a grizzly-looking Mr Howell from Gilligan's Island and you can only wish that this is a future that's going to happen. This movie is the kind of movie you either hate or love. And you need to watch this movie so you can figure out which it is.

For those of you who haven't seen this surreal Science Fiction movie I implore you to buy it, rent it, or illegally download it if that's what you do. But don't watch it at any old time of the day. No. You have to watch it at 3 A.M.

Why?

Easy. Because at 3 A.M. is when everything somehow makes sense. As soon as I got cable at the age of 13 there was one thing I had to do. Watch it as much as possible. Why? Never having cable before I had to make sure I made up for lost time and immerse myself into what can only be a cultural wasteland. Up until then my stupid latchkey self had to make do with whatever was on 5 to 6 channels. If that meant reruns of Bewitched, then so be it. But once I had cable, GAME ON!

But there was a trick to all of this: We only had cable on one television. So for me to watch as much as I could AND what I wanted to watch it would have to be during the day, which during school days is hard to do. So on weekends? Up until 3 A.M.

So why do things at 3 A.M. make sense? Simple. You are tired. And when you're tired you don't over-think things. Nor do you have all of the millions of other things that we have to deal with running through our head. It gives you the luxury to focus on what is in front of you. Infomercials become amazing odysseys into how the unnecessary makes your life easier. Syndicated reruns are much more plentiful in variety and expose you to how easily we are amused by the past. The Weather Channel becomes the equivalent of reading War and Peace in the sense that you'll never get to the end of the story no matter how hard you try. And movies are the best of all. Because at 3 A.M. you get to see other peoples dreams and visions and then realize that no matter how bad, bizarre, and poorly thought out their dreams are, at least they were able to see it through to the end.

And that has to give you hope. It gives you hope that if some guy was able to take a book and make an even weirder sci-fi movie out of it that you have to be able to accomplish something in your life as well. And when you look at what may seem bad on the surface, a closer look finds comedy in the absurd.

Getting shot into the air and getting blown up while looking like Freddy Mercury takes on a whole new meaning. It means there is funny ass $hit out there and if you stop taking things seriously for a second you can find humor in anything.

It also makes you realize that there are those out there who takes themselves too seriously too. And they are even better to laugh at.

At 3 A.M., everything seems a whole lot clearer.

I don't stay up to 3 A.M. anymore. Why? Because I'm getting older. I have responsibilities. I have amazing wife who I'd rather spend time with and cuddle next to each night. And the fact that I stayed up to 3 A.M. for almost 14 years straight has filled me with enough clarity that it's now time to focus on the B.S. which is the real world. When I walk outside of my home, my life is one of tolerance. I put up with everyone else. Then I come home and my wife sets me straight. Then I watch T.V. And I rip the living hell out of it.

So this blog is going to be a lot of things. It will be a place to muse. It will be a place to reflect. It will be a place to rant. It will be whatever I want it to be. It might not make sense at first. But if you read it at 3 A.M. it might change your mind........